Testaverde’s ‘NFL thing’ putting Bingo team’s playoff prospects in jeopardy

JACKSONVILLE, FL — Martha Conner, 64, of the Shady Grove retirement community, is livid this week after learning that one of the four members of her bingo team, Vinny Testaverde, is taking an indefinite leave of absence to chase a dream of playing professional football.

“Vinny was always talking about football during matches,” said Conner, “but none of us ever thought it was anything more than idle chatter. I mean, who goes from Shady Grove to play professional football? It just doesn’t happen.”

Conner’s team, Bingorama, is the defending champion of the Shady Grove Bingo Association, now in its eighth year. By association rules, if Testaverde is unable to compete in the playoffs – which are scheduled for mid-November – then Bingorama will not be allowed a fourth player in its quest to repeat as champs.

“It’s a huge penalty,” Conner said, “and I’m pissed as hell about it. Going into the playoffs of bingo without a fourth player is like an NFL team starting a 43-year-old quarterback. You’re up shit’s creek— oh, dear… excuse my language.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!