Testaverde’s buddies preferred him as armchair QB

CHARLOTTE, NC — When the Carolina Panthers signed 43-year-old, veteran NFL Quarterback Vinny Testaverde last week, not everyone was happy about the deal. “We miss our boy,” said Long Island, NY native and Testaverde friend Anthony Divello. “Since he retired, we meet at his house every Sunday at noon, order some pies, get shit-faced and watch all the games on his ten-screen display.” Anthony’s brother John shares his sentiments: “Do you realize how cool it is to have a Heisman winner dissect Jets games for you?” The Divello brothers were noticeably upset while watching Testaverde lead the Panthers to a 25-10 victory against Arizona last Sunday. “Vinny’s got a 73-inch HDTV for the main screen. Now that he’s playing again, we gotta go down to Terry’s Sports bar and watch the action with all the other Joe’s. It sucks.” Testaverde, who had planned to retire after spending last year with New England, has looked surprisingly agile in his recent comeback. But that’s of little consolation to Anthony and John Divello. “David Carr is a big pussy. He needs to sack it up and get back on the field,” Anthony angrily demanded. “We want our Vinny back.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!