Tank Johnson to sign autographs at Dallas Gun Show

DALLAS, TX — Even though Tank Johnson has not yet played a down with his new team, he is already clearly a part of the Dallas Cowboys organization.

Team owner Jerry Jones announced today that Johnson will represent the Cowboys at the 115^th annual North Texas Gun Show.

“We love Tank’s ability, there’s no question there,” Jones said. “But we were worried that the silly little incident in Chicago would scare him away from guns. Fortunately, we had a heart-to-heart, and Tank loves guns as much as ever. I mean, his name is Tank – and I think he gave that moniker to himself.”

Jones reiterated that an important part of representing Texas is showing your love for guns. Jones even said that the defensive tackle was at his new home stockpiling guns during Tuesday’s press conference.

“I know a lot of people look down on Tank for all the things that happened in the past, but that’s ridiculous,” he said. “If anything, he will be applauded for mixing guns, drugs and children in Texas. That’s just what we do here.”

Not everyone is so thrilled about this latest announcement. Former Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman said that things like this would not have happened on the Dallas teams he starred on during the late ’80s and the ’90s.

“In my day we had rules,” Aikman said. “This is like sending Michael Irvin to a cocaine convention, or Nate Newton representing the Cowboys at a drug trafficking conference. They’re just bad ideas.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!