Steinbrenner hires Trump for firing purposes

NEW YORK, NY — Owner George Steinbrenner announced the newest member of the Yankee family Tuesday – real estate mogul Donald Trump. Steinbrenner said that while the hiring is largely due to the massive popularity of ‘The Apprentice’ in the clubhouse, he also has a special plan for Trump.

“Don’t tell Joe [Torre], but we’re going to have the Donald announce that Joe won’t be returning next year as our manager,” Steinbrenner said. “We have this really great, elaborate plan set up – the whole team is going to be there. Joe thinks it’s going to be an appreciation dinner, but as soon as he starts his speech, Trump comes out and <i>BAM!</i> You’re fired. Hilarious!”

Trump spoke briefly with members of the media, but tension between the billionaire and reporters was evident.

“No tough questions today, guys,” Trump said. “I like this role of hired gun, so if you piss me off I’ll pay your editor to let me fire you.”

Steinbrenner would not elaborate any further on Trump’s duties with the Yankees, but he did say that with a number of players likely leaving the team this off-season, he is sure to find some use for his “new toy.”

Yankees’ captain Derek Jeter said he is glad to see the team already active in the free agent market, while third baseman Alex Rodriguez said he hopes that he and Trump can co-exist.

“He doesn’t scare me,” A-Rod said. “After this next contract, I’ll be richer than God. Trump can be <i>my</i> apprentice.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!