Scientist: Dale Jr. number change from 8 to 88 "not exactly doubling it"

DENTON, TX — While Dale Earnhardt, Jr. continues to brag about his shrewd move to number 88, not everyone is so impressed.

Several media outlets reported last month that Dale Jr. had “doubled” his car number from 8 to 88. Dale himself spoke with SSNN only hours after the announcement.

“Do you know how much money I won in the number 8 car?” Earnhardt told SSNN on September 20. “It was a lot. Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but I figure since I’ve doubled my number, I’ll double my winnings as well.”

But actual rocket scientist Jay Bloomenfield said he is flabbergasted by those statements. Bloomenfield is the head of North Texas University’s renowned rocket science program.

“I hate to break it to people, but going from 8 to 88 is not exactly doubling it,” said Bloomenfield. “Doubling means multiplying by two. You know, this really isn’t a rocket science issue so much as a don’t be a dumbass issue.”

The scientist has asked Dale Jr. to apologize for bringing rocket science into such an inane debate, but has yet to hear back from the NASCAR driver. Bloomenfield said the next step is a nationwide boycott of the sport by scientists.

“Normally, I don’t like to involve the USSWWSCR (United States Scientists Who Watch Stock Car Racing), but I may have to take this one to the top,” he said. “Look, I teach in Texas – I get the whole ’southern logic’ thing. But this is just stupid. 88 is 11 times 8; even children understand that isn’t doubling.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!