McKnight one big game from first raise

LOS ANGELES, CA — Following two straight impressive performances, heralded USC super-frosh Joe McKnight made significant strides in receiving the first pay increase of his career. “He’s really close. Now he just needs to perform well against Notre Dame,” said Dom Perkins, a popular USC booster. Until McKnight broke out for 124 total yards against Arizona, the heralded Louisiana freshman had been dogged by injuries that kept him off the field. Without McKnight’s all-around game for the Trojans at the Coliseum last weekend, USC might very well have dropped their second consecutive conference game. USC’s recent success on the field has increased alumni and booster involvement with the program, evidenced by former Heisman winner Reggie Bush’s lucrative relationship with a San Diego memorabilia collector. As with any job though, the better you perform, the greater your value. Los Angeles lawyer and USC alum Mark Herbert was thrilled to witness McKnight’s heroics and expects big things. “We were really excited to get him some more action. We knew it was only a matter of time before he busted out. People forget it took Reggie a while to get acclimated, and look what happened. If McKnight makes it three impact performances in a row, I’ve got a thick envelope with his name on it.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!