Derek Anderson has had “The Mighty Quinn” stuck in his head for weeks

CLEVELAND, OH — Derek Anderson is barely able to sleep or think straight these days after three solid weeks with the Bob Dylan hit “The Mighty Quinn” stuck firmly in his head.

The trouble started for Anderson on a weekend trip to the home of rookie quarterback Brady Quinn. Apparently, Quinn has a special recording of the song piping at high volume through his house 24 hours a day. In the recording, the word “eskimo” has been replaced with “quarterback.”

“It’s terrible,” said Anderson, currently the starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. “Every day when I wake up, when I go to sleep, when I’m in my car or in the shower – it’s there. Yesterday, I’m walking my dog and I realize that I’m practically shouting ‘When Quinn the quarterback gets here, everybody’s gonna jump for joy!’”

Compounding the issue for Anderson is that he doesn’t really know the words to the catchy tune, which has been covered to great acclaim by Manfred Mann, the Grateful Dead, and Phish. As a result, Anderson has basically been walking around Cleveland singing the chorus of the song, which states, “Come all without, come all within, you ain’t seen nothing like the mighty Quinn!”

“Look, the song is catchy,” said Brady Quinn. “I like to listen to it to get pumped up. Can I help it if Derek likes the song, too? I mean, is it my fault that subconsciously he really does anxiously await the arrival of the mighty Quinn; that he anticipates jumping for joy when said event occurs? That’s really more about him and what’s happening in his head, right?”

The Cleveland coaching staff has not commented on the issues Anderson is facing, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed by his teammates.

“Look, it’s a little disconcerting,” said left tackle Joe Thomas. “You’re in the huddle and all of a sudden your starting quarterback is spewing poetry regarding the superhuman capabilities of his backup, and peppering it with references to said backup’s relationship with the animal kingdom? It’s weird. It’s really weird.”

Thomas paused for a moment, then added, “That song is fucking catchy, though.