Bob Brenly’s aunt angrily cancels subscription to newspaper

MORRISTOWN, NJ — Citing what she felt was an “extreme east coast bias,” and “horrifically bad reporting,” Nancy Brenly has officially informed the Newark Star-Ledger that she’s no longer interested in receiving their newspaper.

“I’ve been a subscriber to the Star-Ledger for over 25 years,” stated Brenly, who is the aunt of former Arizona Diamondbacks manager (and current Cubs/TBS broadcaster) Bob Brenly, and has no children of her own. “I like to look at the sports section, check up on the scores and stuff. All they’ve been talking about recently is who is going to take over for Joe Torre with the Yankees, and Bob’s name isn’t even mentioned! The standards of the paper have declined to the point that they don’t even have competent sports staff to properly report these stories. It’s really sad, actually.”

Nancy Brenly reported that the articles have primarily focused on names like Don Mattingly, Joe Girardi, and Tony LaRussa. “Are you honestly telling me you’d rather have Don Mattingly manage the Yankees than Bob Brenly? Explain that one to me. Bob has proven that he can do it on the field, and in the last two years he’s had a real opportunity to show off how much he knows about baseball from the broadcast booth. In that sense, he’s sort of a double threat. When has Tony LaRussa ever been a broadcaster?”

Brenly is so enraged by the paper’s ommission that she will encourage many of her friends to boycott the paper. She has also been convinced that the paper is actually retaliating for the “debilitating thrashing laid upon them by the Diamondbacks in the 2001 World Series.”

“I know they know what he did to the Yankees,” Brenly said. “Maybe this is New Jersey’s way of getting their revenge, sabotaging his chance at the Yankees job. Oh well, so it goes. I’m sure he’ll be offered a managing job really soon – if he even wants one. He might just decide to keep broadcasting. Maybe he’ll win an Emmy. Who knows? The sky is the world for my Bobby.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!