A-Rod goes trick-or-treating as Aramis Ramirez; focuses primarily on Lou Piniella’s house

TAMPA, FL — Alex Rodriguez took his unorthodox free agency to a new level today, as he went trick-or-treating for four hours in Tampa, Florida, focusing for the most part on Lou Piniella’s off-season home.

“At about eight pm, my doorbell rings, and there’s A-Rod, dressed in a Cubs uniform,” Piniella said. “I kind of look at him, and he yells out, ‘Contract or treat!’ I was like, ‘Alex?’ He goes, ‘No, I’m Aramis Ramirez!’ I thought it was pretty fuckin’ weird… but kind of funny, too.”

Three hours later, Piniella wasn’t laughing anymore. “Alex probably rang my doorbell 48 times last night,” Piniella said. “By the end of it, I was begging him to stop – literally begging him. But he wouldn’t stop.”

According to Piniella, Rodriguez had a variety of lines prepared. Included among his quips: “Did somebody order a shortstop?”; “Boo! M-V-P!”; and what seemed to be A-Rod’s favorite, “Is this the house where they’re giving out full Snickers bars, or is this the place with the $300 million contracts?”

Piniella said that after awhile he and his wife turned out the lights, after which Rodriguez only rang the doorbell a few more times. “I watched him through the slits in the blinds,” Piniella said. “He stopped ringing and just sort of stood there for about twenty minutes, then he went to my neighbor’s house and got some candy, and then he went home. Or maybe to a strip club, I don’t really know.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!