Tiger Woods’ wife feels a lot better about retirement prospects

JUPITER, FL — Elin Nordegren, wife of Tiger Woods, sent a lengthy letter of thanks to FedEx for the generous prize that the shipping company provided for the recently completed FedEx Cup.

“Your generosity and your $10 million retirement annuity will allow my husband, Tiger Woods, a comfortable life after golf,” the letter read. “Your creativity with your prize and your overall kindness are going to give our newborn daughter, Sam Alexis Woods, and all of the other members of our family a chance at a future. We thank you very much, from the bottom of our hearts.”

Woods clinched the FedEx Cup after dominating the field at the Tour Championship, winning two of the four events in the brand-new playoff, coming in second in one, and skipping the the other one altogether.

“I am really happy for Tiger and his family,” said Steve Stricker, who was in contention for the FedEx Cup but fell short with a weak performance in the last event. “I heard that they were sort of having trouble making ends meet – you know, just having everything that they needed. So hopefully this will allow them some freedom.”

“Not so fast,” Woods replied. “This money is an annuity, and I don’t get it until I retire from golf. So we still are going to have to scrape by on my salary and my endorsement revenue for the foreseeable future. It’s going to be tough, but I love my wife, and I love my daughter, and we are committed to making it happen.”

The Woods family has not yet determined what they are going to use the money for when Tiger retires, but one thought was that they’d do some traveling. “I always wanted to spend some time in Hawaii,” Woods said. “Maybe we’ll do that.”