Pavano to Yankees: I won’t pitch on Yom Kippur

BRONX, NY — Carl Pavano has chosen God over baseball, and the New York Yankees are scrambling again tonight to make sure they have enough pitchers for Friday night’s game against Toronto.

Pavano informed the Yankees that he will be unavailable for Friday’s game because of the Jewish High Holy Day of Yom Kippur – the “Day of Atonement” on which Jews fast and seek forgiveness for their past sins – recalling Sandy Koufax’s memorable decision in to sit out the first game of the 1965 World Series because it fell on the holiday.

“On Yom Kippur, I will not take the mound for the New York Yankees,” said Pavano, who – while not Jewish – described himself as “very spiritual.” “On Yom Kippur I will be seeking atonement from my friends and from God. I will also be fasting to cleanse my body and soul of the evils of the past, and to focus on the next year being full of joy and opportunity.”

Yankees manager Joe Torre was surprised by Pavano’s announcement. “Well, we are going to have to figure something out,” Torre said. “I hope we can do it without Carl on Friday night. We’ll just try it and see what happens, and hopefully God will be watching over us, too.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!