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Pacman Jones takes nine-month appointment with FEMA

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WASHINGTON, DC — Adam “Pacman” Jones called a press conference on Thursday to express his disappointment and confusion over accepting a job with FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

“I was under the impression that FEMA was a new wrestling federation that would shamelessly exploit my infamous name,” Jones said. “I was shocked to discover that not only does this have nothing to do with men in tights or suplexes, but that it is an actual government job. What do these FEMA people do, anyway?”

Jones was informed by reporters that FEMA is responsible for disaster relief, which he said did not interest him at all. The Titans cornerback was relieved to hear about FEMA’s controversial response to the Hurricane Katrina crisis, though.

“Oh, so they’re used to hiring fuck-ups,” he said. “That’s good, I should fit right in. Who knows, maybe they could even put me in the department that helps create disasters – I’d be good at that.”

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Posted on September 28th, 2007

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