O.J. disturbed by Vick’s admission

MIAMI, FL — Taking a few minutes to chat with SSNN in between holes at his favorite Miami-area golf course, O.J. Simpson reacted to Michael Vick’s recent guilty plea for organizing dog fights and the QB’s subsequent apology.

Describing his response as “disturbed,” Simpson was candid about the mistakes he believes Vick made.

“Hanging, drowning, electrocution – where are we, Iraq? I’m sure he never attended a class in college, but someone should acquaint him with a calendar – it’s 2007,” Simpson pointed out, seemingly incensed by the very thought of Vick’s transgressions. “Hopefully he learned his lesson – next time maybe he’ll use the iron maiden or that medieval stretching machine. Sheesh…”

O.J. went on to say that Vick committed the cardinal sin of violent crime: admitting what he did and apologizing for it – “Johnnie Cochran taught me the most valuable lesson of my life: admit, and they won’t acquit.”

Simpson’s comments come on the heels of his recent announcement that he is writing a book entitled If I Had Run a Dog Fighting Ring and Executed Underperforming Dogs, This Is How I Would Have Done It. Fox has announced a five-part, week-long series of interviews and re-enactments to coincide with the book’s release, which Simpson expects to be Summer ‘08.