New study reveals hockey is actually a sport

MONTPELIER, VT — A groundbreaking new study by researchers at the University of Vermont has resulted in a startling finding – hockey is actually a sport.

The study, conducted over the course of 18 months, compared hockey to several other endeavors commonly known as sports – such as baseball, basketball, and football – and found striking similarities.

“First off, hockey is played by teams,” said Dr. Ahsan Gupta, of the University’s physics department. “Second, the objective is to score points using a projectile that is aimed at a certain location, which is being protected by the other team. Sound familiar?”

Indeed, the similarities between hockey and other sports do not end there. Many people, according to the study, have heard of hockey. In some populations, the game has actually been practiced. It is believed, the report goes on to state, that hockey was actually televised at one point in history, though there is no factual evidence to support this claim.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!