HBO’s Hard Knocks propels Gonzalez to higher draft positions

KANSAS CITY, MO — In living rooms across the country, football fans are looking forward to sharing October with Tony Gonzalez.

The veteran tight end saw a resurgence in his fantasy draft stock, based largely on the ridiculous hotness of his wife, October Gonzalez.

“Look, even for a pro athlete’s wife, that woman is ridiculously hot,” said John Quinn, 24, of Overland Park, Kansas. “I mean, Kelli Croyle (Brodie Croyle’s wife), she’s hot. But she’s the appropriate amount of hotness for a pro athlete’s wife, especially a guy who can’t even beat out Damon Huard for a starting job. But Gonzo’s wife is ridiculous.”

Gonzalez’s average draft position has been in the fourth round this year, after declining steadily over the past few seasons and bottoming out around the eighth round last year.

“It’s all about October,” said McKenzie Martin-Knowles, 23, of Concordia, Missouri. “Any guy who can attract that level of woman deserves to be in the top four rounds of any draft that I’m in. It was all I could do not to take her – I mean, him – number one.”

October Gonzalez shot to fame with her outstanding role as a supporting actress on the HBO reality TV series Hard Knocks, which takes a month-long look at the Chiefs as they prepare for the 2007 season. October Gonzalez has been seen in a number of daring roles, including being a coy, sarcastic, independent wife/woman while looking ridiculously hot; having a “commitment ceremony” with your husband while looking ridiculously hot; cheering at a football game while looking ridiculously hot; and walking down a set of stairs with a young boy while looking unbelievably ridiculously hot.

In traditional fantasy football a player’s spouse’s attractiveness is generally not a category, though more and more leagues are moving to a format that uses this measurement as a tiebreaker. Nevertheless, there are added advantages to having a player with a smoking hot wife on your squad.

“First, you know that you’re going to see her on TV all the time, which is awesome,” Martin-Knowles said. “Second, you know that the guy is going to play better, because he looks up into the crowd and sees his hot wife, and thinks, ‘Yeah, that’s my wife!’ You know what I’m saying?”

In auction leagues, some individual owners are using as much as 20 percent of their value on the Gonzalii. Other players have found unique ways of incorporating October into their fantasy fold, including naming their teams after her (Miss October; OG’s Tricky Treats; Gonzoswife=hott!; etc.) or even naming her as the honorary coach of their team. One player in Arkansas even went so far as to get October Gonzalez’s face tattooed on his chest.

But let’s face it, he’s a freak.