Goodell praises Browns, Bengals for ingenuity

CLEVELAND, OH — Both the victorious Cleveland Browns and the losing Cincinnati Bengals received phone calls of praise from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell following Sunday’s 51-45 shootout.

“At first, when I heard that two teams decided to play a game using Arena League rules without telling anyone in advance, I’ll be honest, I was a little bit annoyed,” Goodell said. “However, I am a big man, and I can admit when I am wrong; and I was wrong there – that game was freakin’ awesome.”

The credit for the ingenious decision goes to the players, said Browns head coach Romeo Crennell. “I guess Derek Anderson spoke to Carson Palmer on Thursday, and they decided on it,” Crennell explained. “Then they told Chad Johnson, and Ocho Cinco loved the idea – you know, being a stats whore and all. So once they had Chad on board, the rest of the players followed, because you know everyone looks to Chad for direction.”

The game featured 11 passing touchdowns and over 1,000 yards of total offense. Both Johnson and the Browns’ Jamal Lewis went for over 200 yards. It is believed, though not confirmed, that Braylon Edwards returned a kickoff that bounced off the nets in the goalpost for a touchdown. Also unconfirmed is Kellen Winslow’s announcement that, in addition to having 100 yards receiving and a touchdown, he had 27 tackles and six sacks on defense.

Regardless, Goodell was thrilled. “The NFL has always been about innovation; and where innovation fails, about stealing ideas from others. This game had both. May God bless the AFC North.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!