Hot Topics: MLB NFL NBA baseball New York Yankees steroids ESPN Chicago Cubs Boston Red Sox NCAA football

Main Menu

Home	About
Features	Submit
Facebook	MySpace
Friends	NSR
Contact	Mad-Libs
Archives	Gallery
Sponsors	Advertise
Subscribe	Jobs
SCNN	Pryzms

Go to Vividseats.com to get all hard-to-find Sports Tickets, including all NCAA Football Tickets , Basketball Tickets , Baseball Tickets , College Basketball Tickets , Tennis Tickets , PGA Tickets, NASCAR Tickets, NFL Tickets , and Super Bowl Tickets.

Get free NFL picks from PicksNFL.com
Wunderdog Sports is your source for football picks Get free football picks at TopTenCappers.com

Check out EnglishHarbour Network, the best and trusted online casino providing the online slots, table games and other casino games. Visit us for the best online gambling experience and great casino bonuses.

Cheap Sports Tickets
14 major suppliers
mega major $$$ deals
... Sports Ticket Depot.

TOUTHOUSE.COM
NFL Betting Predictions, Free NFL Picks and Current Football Odds

Brett Favre |New Curse

Ticket Solutions
Sports Tickets
NFL
Baseball
Super Bowl
World Series
NCAA Tournament

See the DC United Playoffs with MLS tickets. All your other favorite sports events tickets are also at RazorGator.

Cheap Premium Tickets.com
Get tickets to your favorite sporting events including New York Giants tickets, Pittsburgh Steelers tickets, Detroit Red Wings tickets, Los Angeles Lakers tickets, San Francisco Giants tickets and more.

News Item

Dale Earnhardt Jr. tricks step-mother, will retain Number Eight

MANASSAS, VA — In a brilliant move of mathematical deception, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. arranged to retain his trademark number eight car in the 2008 NASCAR Nextel Cup/Sprint Cup series.

“I was sitting there thinking to myself how much I hate my stepmomma, and how much I wish I could figure out some sort of way to keep my number,” Earnhardt Jr. told SSNN during a recent visit to the Bull Run battlefield. “Then I remembered what daddy always said: ‘Fractions make the world go round.’ So I thought to myself, ‘That’s it! I’ll use fractions!’”

Earnhardt checked with NASCAR, and there is no regulation against using fractions, so the plan seems to be in go-forward mode.

“I’ll be driving the twenty-four thirds Budweiser Chevrolet, and I feel like it’s going to be a great car for me,” Earnhardt said. “Also, for the restrictor plate races in Talladega, I’ll be in the two-cubed car, which is going to be epic.”

Teresa Earnhardt didn’t seem to be fazed by Dale Jr.’s creativity.

“So, wait, what now?” she asked, when informed of Dale Jr.’s mathematical mystery. “I’m not sure I understand. There’s only one way to make eight, and that’s by drawing a snowman. And DEI owns that number. You can’t just put a bunch of numbers on the side of a car and tell people that it’s eight. Besides, on that one car, he’s just got 23 written on it, and twenty-three is sure not eight.”

Dale Earnhardt, Jr. seemed thrilled to hear of his stepmother’s issues with the new plan. “If she’s having trouble with those,” he said, “the seven-point-nine-repeating car is going to fucking rock her world.”

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: Budweiser, Dale Earnhardt Jr, DEI Motorsports, NASCAR, Nextel Cup, Teresa Earnhardt

Posted on September 14th, 2007

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

Scientist: Dale Jr. number change from 8 to 88 "not exactly doubling it" (October 5, 2007)
Earnhardt regrets decision not to enter race (February 11, 2008)
NASCAR plan to have drivers drink before race fizzles (March 8, 2008)
New NASCAR rule replaces burnouts with vomiting fan (January 23, 2008)

Link To This Post

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Search Our Site

Subscribe to SSNN's Newsletter

Check Out These Classics

Multimedia News

Vertical Soccer

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!

View Multimedia Archives...

Photo Gallery

Visit our Gallery for a full listing of images...

News In Brief

Get Free Sports Picks including March Madness Picks, Sports Betting Strategy and the 2008 March Madness Bracket From Doc's College Basketball handicappers

Want CHEAP sports tickets? From NASCAR tickets to WWE tickets, or Red Sox tickets, Final Four tickets to discount Super Bowl tickets, find great deals on all kinds of event tickets here.

Sports fans may not always be serious about their news, but they're serious about their tickets. For NBA Playoffs tickets or Raptors tickets in Toronto, or Cowboys tickets online, CTC has a serious selection of the best sports tickets on the web. Get NY Giants tickets and sold out Super Bowl tickets too!

Serious Online Sports Betting at BetUS - America's favorite Sportsbook. Bet on any sport - football, tennis , UFC, golf or basketball .

Pickspal.com
Football Picks
College Football Picks

MTC Tickets
Sold Out Events Tickets
Justin Timberlake Tour
American Idol Seats
Broadway Theater Tickets
Sold Out Sports Tickets
Hot Concert Tickets
March Madness Tickets

Golf is at its finest with Masters Tickets, while other historically important Sports Tickets like the Kentucky Derby Packages, and NFL Super Bowl Tickets are always hard to come by!