Charlie Frye traded for basket of fries

CLEVELAND AND SEATTLE — In a shocking development, the Cleveland Browns have traded quarterback Charlie Frye to the Seattle Seahawks in exchange for a large basket of french fries.

“Once in awhile, you get an offer that you have to really take seriously, no matter who it is for,” said Phil Savage. “This was one of those offers. We had a chance to get some real, high quality french fries, and we took that chance, and we’re not going to look back.”

Frye, who started at quarterback for the Browns last Sunday in a 34-7 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers, was 4-for-10 for 34 yards, an interception, and a 10.0 quarterback rating.

Many in the Browns organization think the move was motivated by head coach Romeo Crennel. “Look, it’s two birds with one stone for me,” Crennel said. “My job becomes a lot easier, what with only having to deal with two quarterbacks, and I also got a beautiful basket of grade A Idaho potato french fries!”

“To be sure, the fries aren’t all for Romeo,” Savage said, after being notified by rookie quarterback Brady Quinn that Crennel had locked himself in his office and begun to devour the trade bounty. “We’ll share the fries.”

Mike Holmgren, coach and GM of the Seahawks, indicated that he was very uneasy about getting rid of the fries, but that he felt like it was the best move for his squad right now. “A lot of people are calling me and saying, ‘Mike, how can you be sad about this deal? You got a real human quarterback in exchange for some french fries,’” Holmgren told SSNN. “But the bottom line is that there were all different types of fries in that basket, there were crinkle cuts fries, curly-Q fries, cheese fries, those little fake fries that you get out of the vending machine that look like toothpicks, you know what I’m talking about.

“And while we’re on the subject,” Holmgren continued, “Charlie Frye is a human and he does play the position of quarterback, but it’s not exactly like we traded for the next Sean Salisbury here. Charlie Frye has a lot of work to do. Still, I think we have some options.”

Quinn, for his part, is excited about the challenge that this trade possesses. “I feel like I have a good chance to compete against this basket of fries, particularly if Romeo continues to devour it,” he said. “The fries have a lot of NFL experience, but I have an edge on arm strength and I know the offense a little better. All I want is a shot.”