Capuano spotted at frat party showing pickoff move to Thetas

MILWAUKEE, WI — Erstwhile Brewers starting pitcher Chris Capuano’s demotion to the bullpen has had little effect on the tremendous game he tosses at the ladies of Milwaukee, according to SSNN sources.

Capuano was spotted on Marquette University’s campus two Saturdays ago chatting up some members of the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority in the kitchen of the Sigma Chi fraternity house, during the frat’s annual “Work on Getting Lit” Labor Day Weekend bash.

“I was working the door,” said pledge Robbie “Medium Papi” Martinez, 18, of Whitewater, Wisc. “All of a sudden I see Cappy coming up with a friend. So I had a decision to make – do I charge Chris Freaking Capuano to enter the party? And there were no brothers around, they were all inside doing kegstands. So I just made the decision on my own.”

Martinez reported that he let Capuano in for free, but the pitcher’s friend – who was not a professional athlete – had to pay the $5 cover.

Capuano quickly made his way to the kitchen of the party where he found Jennie Martin, 19, of Milwaukee, and several of her sorority sisters drinking vodka tonics by the fridge.

“I’d heard of him before, I think,” said Martin. “I’m pretty sure I saw him last year when we did our annual ‘Brew Up Some Charity’ fundraiser/baseball game trip with the Betas. I think he was playing that day. He’s a thrower, right?”

Capuano quickly found himself at ease with the girls, and when they asked what allowed him to make it all the way to the Major Leagues, he began to show them his pickoff move.

“It was pretty crazy,” Martin said. “I mean, he lifts his leg, and he looks at you, and it’s like time totally freezes. It’s like you’re in this tunnel, and he has you in his sights, and you don’t know what he’s going to make you do. It feels kind of scary and kind of helpless, and, to be honest, it feels a little hot.”

“I totally would’ve picked you off there,” Capuano was overheard telling one of Martin’s friends. “You better hope you hit a double off of me.”

The Sigma Chis were glad to have Capuano at their party. “It’s always great to have a big leaguer show up,” said brother Jonathan Thompson, 24, of Fon Du Lac, Minn. “Cappy’s the first one that I’ve ever seen at one of our parties, though there’s a rumor that one time Ben Sheets showed up toward the end of the night with a case of ‘The Beast’ and a super soaker.”

Capuano spent about two hours hanging with the Thetas in the kitchen before busting out on the dance floor when the familiar sounds of Kanye West’s Golddigger started playing from the iPod dock. It appeared to onlookers that he had a chance of scoring with Martin.

“I know he’s not really a Major Leaguer anymore,” Martin allegedly told friends. “But I’ll probably still sleep with him.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!