Bush makes surprise visit to Iraq, attends fantasy football draft in person

ANBAR PROVINCE, IRAQ — En route to a summit in Sydney, Australia, U.S. President George W. Bush stopped over in Iraq for a surprise visit, and attended his fantasy football draft in person.

“I look up and I’m like, ‘Holy shit, it’s the President,’” said Major John P. Lorenze, 28, owner of the Anbar Animals, defending champs. “I couldn’t believe it. I thought he was just going to call in for the draft, but lo and behold, there he was in person.”

The President stormed into the tent in which the draft was to take place moments before the event began. “Before we could even get up, I hear this booming voice yell out, ‘LT, come to Papa!’” related Joseph Rodriguez, 24, whose favorite player is Larry ‘Fallujah’ Fitzgerald. “You know, the President is from Texas, so it makes sense that he likes LT.”

Bush came to the draft relatively unprepared; he had no laptop computer, wireless internet card or extensive cheat sheet. He was simply carrying a Presidentially-emblazoned Rotoworld draft guide, and a jar of peanut M&Ms that he alternately ate and flung at other competitors while deriding their selections.

“How many people can say that they drafted Clinton Portis yesterday, only to have the leader of the free world yell out ‘Have fun with that hammy!’ and throw a handful of M&Ms at them?” Rodriguez asked. “Well, I can.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!