Stuart Scott enraged over perceived Evite snub

BRISTOL, CT — Colleagues struggled to find words to describe the fury unleashed by Stuart Scott after failing to receive and evite to video production intern Calvin Stanfield’s going away party. The well-known SportsCenter anchor overheard Rachel Nichols and Erin Andrews arranging transportation to Stanfield’s residence on the outskirts of Bristol, where the 20-year old NYU student’s parents had left him home alone.

“I really messed up,” Nichols admitted. “When Stu asked what we were talking about, I just assumed he’d been invited – otherwise I never would have told him. I totally dropped the ball.”

After Nichols spilled the beans, Scott reportedly called Stanfield into his corner office for a thirty-minute scream-fest.

“I couldn’t make out the words at the beginning, but it was like once he built a head of steam he just got louder and louder,” said fellow SC host Neil Everett. “By the end it was crystal clear in my cubicle across the hall. I don’t think Cal got a word in. Then after about a half hour Stu says ‘We’ll see how you get a job in this business with my foot in your ass, you insolent little schmuck. Boo-yah!’ Stu’s always saying ‘boo-yah’ for emphasis. The yiddish thing is new in the last month or so – a little annoying, really.”

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Ironically, Stanfield did invite Scott to the party and the evite was simply snapped up by the spam filter on the anchor’s email account. When told of the error, Scott – who refused to comment for this article – apologized to Stanfield for the misunderstanding and politely declined the invitation.

“After all that… I couldn’t believe it,” Stanfield said. “The only reason it got lost in the first place is because Stu insists on using his ‘booyah_stu9773@yahoo.com’ address instead of the ESPN company account. I’m never inviting him to a party again.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!