Kenny Mayne accuses five-year-old niece of cheating at backgammon

SEVEN LAKES, NC — A weekend trip to visit his big sister’s family ended poorly for ESPN personality Kenny Mayne, when the erstwhile SportsCenter anchor accused his four-year-old niece Hannah of cheating at backgammon.

Everything seemed pretty quiet in the house of Mayne’s sister, Melanie, and her family on Sunday morning; Melanie was in the kitchen preparing pancakes and Mayne had been invited by Hannah to play backgammon.

However, as the game wound down, it became evident that Hannah was going to need at least a double-four to advance all of her remaining pieces into safety before Mayne could. Allegedly, Hannah rolled a four-five, and sought to quickly turn the die that read five to match the other four, while Mayne was distracted by his Daily Racing Form.

“I am in the kitchen, making pancakes,” said Melanie, “and I hear this shout. ‘You’re cheating, little girl! You’re cheating! You can’t cheat on me. I’m Kenny MickeyFickey Mayne!’ So I ran into the room.”

Melanie found her daughter crying loudly, and her brother standing over her menacingly. The pieces of the backgammon board were strewn around the room, as though a grown man had slapped them off of the board with his hand in a fit of anger. Melanie then asked Mayne to leave.

“Upon returning to Bristol, I felt a little bad about the situation,” Mayne told SSNN. “Then I realized. I don’t feel bad about the situation. I feel bad about that punk cheating kid, and her dimwitted, enabler of a mother.”

Mayne is reportedly next set to appear on SportsCenter on Thursday night, when he will have prepared a 2 minute, 42 second piece on the dangers of rampant cheating on the international competitive backgammon circuit.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!