Jones to continue wresting career

NASHVILLE, TN — Controversial cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones and the Tennesse Titans have come to an agreement that will allow Jones to continue his professional wrestling career while he is serving his NFL suspension. Jones said he was thrilled to walk away from the meeting with both sides happy and in agreement.

“It’s simple really: they [the Titans] didn’t want me to come into contact with another wrestler,” Jones said. “So we worked it out to where I won’t have to fight another wrestler, but I’ll still be able to get in the ring.”

According to Jones, at TNA Wrestling’s next show he will be attacked by a pack of wild dogs. It will later be discovered that the dogs are owned by none other than Michael Vick (also joining TNA during his absence from the NFL). Naturally, this will lead to a no-holds-barred match between the pack of Vick’s dogs and Jones (joined by his gun-toting posse). It is rumored that steel chairs will be involved as well.

“I can’t wait to body slam those mutts,” Jones said. “I’ve just got to find a new finishing maneuver, because Vick stole mine. I’ve been using the Drowning Pool (a move in which Jones holds his opponent under water) for years now. It’s a little frustrating that Vick would pass that off as his own, but hey – they say imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!