Jenna Bush announces engagement to Gilbert Arenas

WASHINGTON, DC — It’s going to be a DC wedding, that’s for sure.

Early Tuesday, Jenna Bush – one of President George W. Bush’s two daughters – announced her engagement to none other than the darling of Washington himself, Wizards guard Gilbert “Black President” Arenas.

“We couldn’t be more pleased,” said President Bush, reacting to the announcement. “Gil is a great guy, and a leader on the court and off. He’s been wonderful to Jenna and to our family. In celebration, I’m wearing these custom-made ‘Agent Zero’ cuff links that he got me for my birthday in 2005. He’s just a class act.”

The First Lady echoed the President’s sentiments. “You know what I like about Gil?” she asked. “That he has a blog. Sometimes it gets so tough to keep in touch with your kids, and this way I’ll be able to keep tabs on them just by following his blog. Plus, I get interesting thoughts about things like shark attacks and the Portland Trailblazers. You know I was a librarian, so I love to read.”

No date has been set for the forthcoming nuptials, but Arenas promises there will be some surprises. “Apparently the White House has pretty strict rules about bringing in exotic animals,” he said. “But there’s plenty of time before the ceremony. Jenna and I are thinking about a sort of Coming to America theme.”