Wright hopeful for fantasy comeback

NEW YORK, NY — In the midst of a horrible stretch in his fantasy league, New York Mets third baseman David Wright called out teammate Carlos Delgado for his lackluster first half.

“This isn’t what I expected at all. When I drafted Carlos, I was banking on at least 35 bombs with somewhere around 120 ribbies,” said Wright. “And what does he do to me? 14 homers and only 49 RBIs?”

Wright’s team – named The Wright Stuff – has fallen to the basement of his head-to-head fantasy league. With the second half of the season beginning, Wright’s team is already 27 games out of first place, a spot held by his thirteen-year old cousin Tina.

“Don’t get me wrong, Tina had a good draft and she’s really been on top of setting her lineup,” said Wright. “But I can turn this thing around. I just need my boys to step it up.”

A career .280 hitter, Delgado has hovered in the .230 range this season; and while he has briefly shown signs of returning to his old form – he had a three-game period in late May with 4 HRs and 10 RBIs – his performance has been an overall disappointment for Mets fans and fantasy owners alike.

“This is a joke. I mean, come on, I’m losing to a guy who’s playing Xavier Nady at first base,” said Wright. “Xavier fucking Nady!”

Fellow Met Jose Reyes isn’t willing to put all of Wright’s fantasy failures on Delgado’s shoulders.

“Sure, Carlos hasn’t done his thing yet this season, but look at David’s draft,” said Reyes. “He completely threw away a pick on Dontrelle Willis. And Corey Patterson? It’s obvious he didn’t do his research.”

Some have placed the blame for Delgado’s poor play on off-season wrist surgery, but Wright isn’t buying into that theory.

“Look, we all have shitty starts. I know that. But they usually don’t last for an entire half of the season,” said Wright. “Hell, I was playing like Aubrey Huff the first month – everyone was laughing at me for drafting myself with my first round pick. But I turned it around and showed them who’s boss. Can’t Carlos do the same?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!