WNBA All-Star Game attracts baker’s dozen

NEW YORK, NY — No fewer than 13 people officially viewed the WNBA All-Star Game, according to statistics released by the league Monday.

“This has been a great WNBA season, and I think you see that in the reaction from the fans,” said commissioner David Stern (or whomever is the commissioner).

The core viewers were made up of five friends and family, the commissioner himself and two of his closest female relatives. Also watching were one dude sitting in a bar who didn’t want to ask the barkeep to change the channel, and four viewers qualifying as “accidentals” – in this case people who switched to ESPN2 (or whatever channel the game was on) expecting to see sports and zoned out during a commercial, not realizing what they’d been watching until significant time had passed.

The technique of luring accidentals is an age old industry standard; Christian rock stations, for example, have been employing it for years. Stern, for his part, was confident the WNBA could close the deal.

“You know what we call ‘accidentals’ in the league office?” Stern asked. “New fans.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!