Wie quits dinner, enters eating contest

HONOLULU, HI — Almost halfway through dinner at her house in Honolulu, Michelle Wie stopped eating, saying she was “pulling out” of the meal. This is the second consecutive meal that she has not been able to complete. Apparently, the young golf prodigy was eating very poorly – dropping food and spilling her drink. As has become her custom, she decided to throw in the towel rather than finish a dinner that had become simply embarrassing. No one on either the PGA or LPGA tour seemed surprised by the news. “A couple years ago Michelle could get through her meals easily, and she would finish with pride even when they didn’t display her best eating,” golf analyst Johnny Miller told SSNN. “But now, when she is having trouble, she just gives up.” Strangely, immediately following the withdrawal from the Wie family dinner, Michelle announced she plans to enter the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. The sports books have already set the lines for her performance, and the over/under currently sits at four hot dogs eaten before Wie quits.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!