Tony Parker’s wife smothering him

PARIS, FRANCE — A stunned Tony Parker “can’t take it anymore,” according to friends who report that his wife’s constant need for attention has all-but-doomed their marriage.

Parker and Eva Longoria were married Friday in Paris, and then celebrated the union again on Saturday in a bigger, star-studded affair. Since then, the Desperate Housewives star has apparently been wanting to spend pretty much every minute with the San Antonio Spurs point guard.

“It’s unbelievable,” a friend close to the couple stated. “Eva will not lay off. She wants to take pictures. She wants to dance. She wants to eat together. The guy is in the NBA, for God’s sakes … give him some space!”

“I had no idea it would be like this,” a stunned Parker whispered during an SSNN exclusive phone interview, while waiting momentarily for his wife to emerge from the dressing room of a Paris boutique so the couple could go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. “All day long, we have to do stuff together. It’s crazy.”

Longoria, for her part, seems to have anticipated this, telling reporters that her marriage is “everything that she’d hoped for. We spend all of our time together. It’s awesome!”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!