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News Item
Parcells enters Hawaiian Tropics competition
KIHEI, MAUI, HI — Citing a love of the sun, plenty of free time and “bigger bozangas than any of those bitches,” Bill Parcells has entered the 2007 Hawaiian Tropic swimsuit competition, taking place this week.
“I am not sure if a man has ever won this thing,” Parcells told reporters. “But if it’s ta-ta’s they are after – and I think they are – then I have a chance.”
Parcells, the erstwhile coach of the Dallas Cowboys, has manbreasts that would be considered a size 50DDDD if he were a woman. However, according to guest judge Dustin Diamond, Parcells will be hurt because he can’t fit into a bikini.
“Most women that weigh 325 pounds just wear a mumu or a bedsheet,” Diamond said.
“Like I give a shit what Screech thinks,” Parcells snapped, upon hearing the criticism. “I oughta just put his head between these funbags and give him the old ‘Drew Bledsoe,’ if you know what I mean.”
Labels: Bill Parcells, Dallas Cowboys, Dustin Diamond, Hawaiian Tropics, NFL, swimsuit contest
Posted on July 24th, 2007
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Other Related News Items
- Dolphins may hold dance contest to lure Taylor back (May 22, 2008)
- Parcells confident his man boobs won’t distract Dolphins (December 31, 2007)
- Siragusa’s neck found in New Jersey strip club (November 25, 2008)
- Taylor offers to teach Parcells to dance (May 29, 2008)
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