Morrison admits to double life

CHARLOTTE, NC — Today, in an announcement that shocked literally nobody, the Charlotte Bobcats‘ up-and-coming forward Adam Morrison revealed that he and popular porn star Mustachio Trailerwood are, in fact, the same person.

Coming off of a promising rookie season and starring in such recent films as Dribbling Balls, Slam Trunk and Charlotte’s Bobcat, the former Gonzaga star started making amateur porn in his dorm room during his sophomore year, posting it on YouLube.com, to widespread critical acclaim.

Quickly gathering a cult following, his white trash look and uber-creepy mustache caught the attention of porn superstar Ron Jeremy. Mustachio was on the rise.

“Mr. Jeremy said, ‘You like f@&kin’?’ I said, ‘Sure, I like f@&kin’!’ And that was it,” Morrison told SSNN, lounging in his set-side recliner on location for the filming of his next movie.

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Entering his second season with the Bobcats, and having signed a five-picture deal with industry leader Vivid Video, Morrison has pledged to keep both careers alive as a way of hedging his bets against both injury and VD. As of press time, rumors of a Mustachio Trailerwood/Anna Benson feature could not be confirmed.

In a related story, NBA Commissioner David Stern announced today that Morrison would not be making his scheduled appearance at the annual “Impressionable Young Women, Meet the NBA” event.