KC hopes to opt out of All-Star

KANSAS CITY, KANSAS — With heavy hearts, Kansas City Royals fans decided over the weekend to waive their right to be represented at this year’s All-Star Game festivities.

“I understand the league’s stance that every team needs to be represented,” said Kansas City native Joe Hennessey. “But we really have no problem with our guys sitting this one out.”

The Royals lone representative this year was set to be Gil Meche, who signed a 5-year $55 million contract during the offseason. So far this season, Meche has posted a 5-6 record with a 3.64 ERA and 88 strikeouts. While he has been the ace of an unsurprisingly shaky staff, his spot on the All-Star team would arguably be better-suited for other, more-deserving candidates; or even just left empty.

“I’ve sat through some shitty seasons with some shitty Royals going to the All-Star game,” Hennessey told SSNN. “I just don’t think I can take any more after the Redmond debacle of 2006. At least Mike Sweeney was actually good in 2005.”

“It’d be a nice change to watch a game of baseball played by world-class athletes.”

It is not known at this time whether Commissioner Bud Selig is willing to accept the decision of the Kansas City fans. Sources in the MLB league office say Selig is weighing the inevitable drop in television ratings should the Royals not be represented against the importance of quality baseball in this year’s All-Star game.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!