Hargrove to pursue Big Foot

SEATTLE, WA — In a shocking turn of events on Monday, Mike Hargrove resigned his post as manager of the Seattle Mariners, becoming the first skipper in over a hundred years to abandon a team in the midst of a winning streak of seven games or more. Fans of the red-hot M’s were astonished at Hargrove’s unprecedented decision and have voiced their disgust over the past few days by organizing demonstrations in the parking lot at Safeco Field.

It was not until Thursday morning, from the front porch of his Seattle home, that Hargrove alerted fans and media to his true intentions: “At this point in my life, I need to follow my heart. And my heart tells me my duty is to track – and ultimately subdue – the creature known as Big Foot.”

The small gathering of reporters was baffled, but Hargrove remained resolute. “It’s been a passion of mine since moving to the Pacific Northwest, and I’m at a point in my life where baseball just seems silly. I have fulfilled my duty to the people of Seattle, and I now believe that I was brought here not only to coach the game of baseball, but also to unlock the mystery of Sasquatch.”

Hargrove intends to head an expedition that will set out on Monday for the forest regions of Northern Washington, and has hired local filmmaker Burt “Kodiak” Roberts to document his journey.

“I don’t worry about that at all,” said Roberts about the prospect of venturing into the wilderness with a former MLB manager. “When I first met Mike, I was amazed at his determination. This man has really done his research. He’s a true fanatic.”

For the past eight months Hargrove, under the pseudonym Harry Rockford, has maintained a blog to which he contributes daily: Big Foot, Big Dreams. Hargrove’s driving motivation is still unknown. When asked what his intentions are upon finding the creature he said simply, “To kill it.”

Hargrove joins tens of thousands of Sasquatch enthusiasts who travel into the wilderness each year hoping to catch a glimpse of the enigmatic ape-man. He remains confident, though, that his survival skills and sheer conviction will see him through to his goal.

“Come Wednesday, I leave behind all that I’ve known; and I vow not to emerge until the bastard has met his demise.”