Woods’ body “nothing to do with” golf

WINDERMERE, FL — Even the most casual golf fan cannot help but notice that Tiger Woods’ physique has improved quite a bit since he turned pro in 1996. Many have speculated that this is an effort to improve his golf game, but Tiger insists that it has nothing to do with that. “It really started when I met Elin [Nordegren, his Swedish model wife],” he said. “All she talks about is her modeling career, and she kept pushing me to pursue one of my own. When I had some time off from golf earlier this year, I tried to get a couple of gigs.” Unfortunately for Woods, the market for male models is not as lucrative as it is for female Swedes, and Woods had to do some questionable work to jump-start his career. “I couldn’t get any work, so I decided to do a couple of movies to get my career going,” he said. “You probably haven’t heard of them – one was called Play In My Rough, and the other was Tiger’s Hole In One. Let’s just say they went straight to video and they only carry them at specialty stores like the Adult Superstore on Highway 290. Anyway, they wanted my pecs to be a certain size so I’ve been doing some heavy lifting.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!