Wimbledon field forfeits to Federer, Nadal

LONDON, ENGLAND — On the eve of the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in England, the entire men’s field has agreed to forfeit all their matches to set up another Rafael Nadal vs. Roger Federer showdown in the finals. “The guys all got together and agreed that they would play a separate tournament to establish third through last place,” NBC announcer John McEnroe told SSNN. “They wanted Roger and Rafa to be able to face each other with their fuel tanks completely full, rather than use their energy unnecessarily against other, lesser players.” This is the first time something like this has happened at a major event – or, in fact, at any tournament. In a press conference early Monday, Federer admitted, “well… I am glad this has happened. Rafa and I have been talking about how we have to waste our time and effort playing the matches that lead to our inevitable final.” The only player who hesitated was Andy Roddick, but McEnroe’s response to his protests (”Really? Andy? Come on, you don’t think you can win do you?”) led to the young American’s immediate retirement from the tournament. Rafael Nadal was not available for pre-match comment because he was trying on Capri pants in preparation for facing off with Federer.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!