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News Item

Vick’s dog tests positive

ATLANTA, GA — In a report expected for weeks, Commissioner Maurice “Money” Thomkins of the World fighting »”>Dog Fighting Association (WDFA) announced Michael Vick’s dog, Princess, had failed her latest drug test. Princess was immediately suspended from fighting in WDFA sanctioned fights for a period of 2 years.

“There’s no room for these performance enhancing drugs in the WDFA.” Thomkins told reporters Wednesday. “These cheaters could ruin the public’s perception of the WDFA – we can’t afford to have the legitimacy of our wonderful sport questioned.”

The suspension of Princess has been expected ever since referee Gary “Gomez” Carney found a secret compartment in Princess’ water bowl.

“I hate disqualifying a dog that has worked so hard to get to the WDFA, but rules are rules. Provision 6.1.B. specifically states that any dog that has peculiarities in a water dish must be immediately disqualified from the fight,” said a disheartened Carney after what has now become the infamous “Water Bowl Fight.”

At the time, Michael “Mike” Vick blamed the secret compartment on needing a place to store Princess’ “bling” – “My dog’s gotta roll in style; I don’t want Princess’ bling gettin’ stolen.”

Later that week, Princess was subjected to a “random” drug test. The report, released today, shows that Princess tested positive Clenbuterol (a steroid commonly used on horses) and – oddly enough – marijuana.

“Princess just ain’t been the same since she stopped fightin’,” a dejected Vick declared at the press conference. Before storming off, the Falcons’ QB shouted that, “this was only the A sample. We still have the B sample, and I’m confident it will prove Princess’ innocence. Me and Princess will fight this ’til the end.”

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Labels: dog fighting, marijuana, Michael Vick, Princess, steroids

Posted on June 13th, 2007

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Other Related News Items

• Vick kicked off prison football team for dog fighting (April 7, 2008)
• Vick caught editing 2007 out of Wikipedia entry (December 7, 2007)
• Vick named honorary PETA member (July 21, 2007)
• Jones to continue wresting career (August 14, 2007)

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