Not everyone boycotting Bonds’ big bash

ATLANTA, GA — While many in the baseball world – including commissioner Bud Selig and Current Home Run King Hank Aaron – have said that they will not attend the game in which Barry Bonds breaks the all-time home run record, a small minority do plan on making an appearance.

The most notable people in attendance may be the two hippies who ran onto the field on April 8, 1974 to pat Aaron on the back after his then-record 715^th homer.

“Dig it, man… We feel like our attendance will bring this thing full-circle,” said one of the hippies, who could not remember his name thanks to years of drug use. “Might I add the brown acid is bad, man.”

The smelly, dirty hippies seem to be genuine in their intentions, but some problems with them running onto the field have already arisen. First, neither of the self-proclaimed stink-bags are as athletic as they once were, and they may not be able to keep up with Bonds. Also, while Aaron had a friendly relationship with fans and the media, Bonds is significantly icier towards the masses.

“At best, he’ll break out a syringe and inject us with whatever steroid he’s taking that day,” said one hippie, between bong hits. “At worst, he’ll kill us.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!