MLB Draft on TV is “dream come true”

LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL — Bud Selig called a press conference on Wednesday to announce that judging by early feedback from last week’s first televised MLB Draft, it was “a historic success” and “could be even better for baseball than the Mitchell Investigation.” Selig said that television ratings and Internet traffic were slightly above what was expected, but that DVD pre-sales of the televised draft have already tripled expectations.

“We’ve already sold more than 5,000 DVD copies of the telecast in less than a week, which is much more than we expected,” he said. “Oddly enough, almost all of those were purchased by some company called NCI. I’m not sure what that company is, but I plan on sending them a nice thank-you card.”

SSNN has discovered than NCI is an organization based out of Chicago, and that the acronym stands for the National Center of Insomniacs. NCI director Sleepy Floyd said that as soon as he saw Thursday’s telecast of the draft, he knew that he could use it as a tool.

“[Televising the MLB Draft] is a dream come true for us,” Floyd said. “We’ve already sent copies of the draft to each one of our centers to help our patients. We have some more studies to do, but I’m quite confident that soon we will just prescribe the MLB Draft to anyone suffering from insomnia. This is truly a medical breakthrough.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!