Kobe flip-flopping on future in sports

KINGSTON, JAMAICA — After going on Stephen A. Smith’s show on ESPN Radio’s New York affiliate last week and demanding he be traded only to recant three hours later, Kobe Bryant made a shocking announcement early Tuesday morning. The superstar will apparently be leaving the Los Angeles Lakers and joining the Jamaican Bobsled team. “I love it here mahn, this is my team, mahn!” Bryant said at a press conference held at Bob Marley’s birthplace. “I need a team where I know I’m the star, and there’s no chance of me being upstaged.”

Lakers Head Coach Phil Jackson could not be reached for comment. One hour later, appearing live from Kingston on Jim Rome’s Rome is Burning TV show, Kobe admitted that “the whole Bobsled team thing was just a phase.” He now insists that he is leaving the Lakers to race for DEI Motorsports in the Nextel Cup Series, replacing the recently departed Dale Earnhardt, Jr. in the Budweiser #8 car. “DEI really has their act together,” Kobe told Rome. “They know how to win, and they don’t sacrifice their talent – the athlete comes first here.” There is no evidence that Kobe has any previous racing experience, but Teresa Earnhardt is said to identify with his “win at all costs” mentality.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!