Goodell lets loose on radio

NEW YORK, NY — NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell astounded the country during a radio interview early Friday morning, when he commented that, “Hitler wasn’t all that bad.”

After approximately 20 seconds of stunned silence, show host Stephen A. Smith asked Goodell if he wanted to clarify his “fantastically offensive statement.”

Goodell responded: “No… I mean… when I was younger, they only taught us about the bad stuff that Hitler did – and of course killing all of those people was bad. But I have been studying up on him lately, and he was an amazing man. Look at the control he had over his employees; that’s an iron fist. I’m probably going to go back and read up more on Stalin and Pol Pot. I hear they had great management skills as well.”

Goodell followed this with a tirade about NFL players misbehaving, talking at a speed that made it impossible to understand. According to Smith, “I think part of the rant included the phrase ‘I will beat them with chains,’ but I’m not entirely sure.”

Goodell finished the interview with, “All I have to say is: David Stern, you better watch out; you’re not the only power hungry sports commissioner out there. I’M COMING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!” He then hung up on Smith live on the air, prompting the host to assure his listeners that, “Commissioner Goodell will not be suspended from this show for the entire 2007 NFL Season.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!