D-Stern deciphers Donovan debacle

ORLANDO, FL — At a Monday press conference David Stern explained that the entire Billy Donovan fiasco was the league’s fault, and not that of the coach himself or the Orlando Magic. Donovan, who has won two straight NCAA Basketball titles with the University of Florida, accepted the head coaching job with Orlando last week before telling the Magic this weekend that he was having second thoughts. Stern said that the flip-flop was actually a public relations ploy gone wrong. “What we were trying to do was film one of those awesome David Blaine NBA commercials,” he said. “You know, it was going to be two-time championship coach comes to the NBA, now you see him and now you don’t. How’s that for a Magic trick? Get it, Magic trick?” Stern said the league has decided not to air the commercial because, much like the other ones, it’s relatively inane and completely ineffective. A source with the league insists that Stern still feels like basketball and magicians are a natural fit, and that he may not be done trying to force it down fans’ throats.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!