Blazers trade top pick, avoid responsibility

PORTLAND, OR — The Portland Trailblazers announced late Tuesday that they plan to trade the number one overall draft pick to the New York. It has been a forgone conclusion that the Blazers would use the pick to select highly touted big-man Greg Oden; a move that would most likely put the team back into playoff contention immediately.

Instead, the Knicks will receive the first overall pick in exchange for a package of players including Jamal Crawford, Steve Francis and Quentin Richardson. Blazers GM Kevin Pritchard expressed confidence when discussing the questionable move and is already looking towards the future.

“I’m pretty sure you remember the last time we were in a similar position – Sam Bowie anyone?” the first-year GM said. “Do you remember who the Blazers’ GM was at that time? I sure as hell don’t; and I don’t want to be take shit for the next fifty years if I end up with the next Sam Bowie. With the guys we’re getting back in this deal, we can define mediocrity in our sleep. Things are looking up here in Portland.”

The Knicks have yet to announce their plans for the first pick, but sources are speculating that Greg Oden will in fact be suiting up in Madison Square Garden this year. In a related story, a statue of Isiah Thomas has been proposed for outside the front of the stadium in honor of the GM’s well-established trade-making ability.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!