Study shows Fathead not awesome

LIVONIA, MI — A month-long study by SSNN has clearly shown that despite Ben Roethlisberger’s support, Fathead wall graphics are not, in fact, “cool.” In a short interview, Roethlisberger once again defended the company.

“I don’t care what your study says, giant sticker sports posters are sweet,” he said. “In fact, if I were to rank my favorite things, my Fathead collection ranks right behind my Super Bowl ring and the hamburger that’s named after me.”

While more than 90 percent of the study participants insisted that the wall graphics were a good idea, less than 15 percent said they would actually purchase the product. The study shows that the biggest problem with Fathead is that it acts as a female repellant.

“Dude, you would think that a bunch of sports stickers on your living room wall would bring the ladies in, but I did not find that to be the case,” a male participant said.

The study also discovered that only 2 percent of men who live with a significant other have a Fathead product in their home. Of those 2 percent, 1.9 percent are very unhappy with it.

“My wife insists on putting our Brett Favre Fathead on the ceiling above our bed,” said a participant from Wisconsin. “Let’s just say it’s causing me to have some performance anxiety.”

Fathead has been informed of the study, and according to their publicist the company is already looking into some more female-friendly wall graphics. Due out later this summer is a shirtless Brad Pitt Fathead, and next year the company hopes to offer a special Mother’s Day Fathead.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!