Oden cures cancer

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Future NBA superstar Greg Oden has been busy preparing for the NBA Draft, but still found time to do something that will change the world. In the spare time between grueling weight training and lengthy workouts on the court, Oden has developed a cure for cancer. “I’m not going to bore you with the details, but my research has proved unequivocally that this will prevent implantation by metastasis and invasion,” the projected number one overall pick said. “It’s rather elementary – I really only happened upon it because of my boredom during this trivial draft process. Basketball is only my love; my intellect is what allows me to shape the world.” While the drug still needs to undergo FDA testing, it seems there is more to Oden than his imposing frame and unnatural athletic abilities. Many have questioned the intelligence of the gentle giant, but after this latest development those critics have been silenced. Oden will apparently not stop at cancer, and says he will now focus his energies on making time travel a reality.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!