Major changes on tap for NHL

NEW YORK, NY — The 2007 NHL Playoffs are not yet over, and already league officials are planning big changes for next year’s season.

The league is in desperate need of something different after the most disappointing season in its 90-year history. Many fans stopped watching, and attendance levels plummeted league-wide. The current demise of the NHL has left it financially unstable, and the planned changes are directly aimed at increasing revenue to keep the league afloat.

“After months of deliberating, we have decided to leave the Versus network and move all of our games to pay-per-view,” NHL spokesman Frank Brown announced during a press conference Sunday. “It’s been a tough year for the NHL and our number one priority is to bring the fans back to the game. What better way to do that than make every game available to them for the low, low price of $15.99 a pop? We hope to have the same kind of success boxing has had in their partnership with pay-per-view. Boxing has done so well recently – we’re pretty certain this is the best thing for the NHL.”
Games will be televised on any cable operator that offers its subscribers the option to purchase pay-per-view events. In order to ensure the success of the new venture, the NHL has hired legendary boxing promoter Don King as a consultant.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!