Henderson not done yet

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH, ATLANTIS — Rickey Henderson insists that there are still a few good games left in his body. The former All-Star outfielder is once again considering a comeback to Major League Baseball. Henderson – who according to a two-week study conducted by SSNN is somewhere between 70 and 120 years old [Ed. Note: Yes, we did consider simply asking him, but spending two weeks on an opinion poll just seemed easier.] – last retired in 2003.

Henderson began his career in 1935 playing for Connie Mack’s Philadelphia Athletics. He remembers that time fondly, despite the team’s final record of 58-91. Reached at his home on Atlantis, directly above the fountain of youth, MLB’s all-time stolen base leader was more than happy to discuss himself and his long history in baseball.

“Julio Franco and Rickey were both rookies on that team,” he said. “The top of our lineup was Rickey, Franco and Jimmie Foxx – he was the veteran presence. By the end of the year, we brought up Jamie Moyer from the minors. Back then his fastball topped out at 84 miles per hour.”

Henderson played with the Athletics franchise until 1950, when manager Connie Mack left the team. He told SSNN that Mack is the greatest manager he ever played for.

“Mack was always a big fan of the three-run homer. Oh wait, that was Earl Weaver. Mack was the guy who went to law school and was a vegetarian. No, that was LaRussa. Rickey’s got to be honest, Rickey doesn’t remember Mack. But Rickey’s pretty sure he was a great manager.”

Henderson set a plethora of records throughout his lengthy MLB career. He is the all-time leader in runs scored, stolen bases and times caught stealing. He also cracked the top five in walks, games played and plate appearances, along with some less-celebrated achievements.

“People don’t know this about Rickey, but Rickey has played on every expansion team since 1961. Los Angeles, Washington, Houston, New York, Montreal, San Diego, Seattle, Kansas City, Seattle again, Toronto, Arizona and Colorado, Rickey played for all of ‘em.”

Despite the virtual impossibility of the suggestion, Rickey insists that he played for 50-60 Major League franchises since his 1935 debut. He added that despite his extensive experience, he still misses the game and feels there is more for him to accomplish – and as long as he has the love, he intends to keep playing.

“Rickey doesn’t love baseball, but Rickey loves the hell out of Rickey. The beauty of baseball is that people talk about you when you play it, and that kind of thing is attractive to Rickey. I’m the greatest of all-time, does that answer your question?”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!