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Cubs warn fans of Wrigley’s fragility

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CHICAGO, IL — The Chicago Cubs have issued a warning to fans about their rowdiness during this weekend’s series against the cross-town rival White Sox. The Cubs have won the first two games of the series and are on the verge of sweeping the Sox for the first time since 2004. While this would normally be good news for Cubs fans, it has instead left Cubs management no choice but to prepare for the worst. “Look, Wrigley was built in 1914, and we know that it can’t handle too much,” Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said. “We’re going to have to respectfully request that our fans keep it down and not get too crazy – loud-enough noises may cause the ballpark to collapse.” Hendry added a helpful comparison for fans that still fail to understand what they are dealing with: “Wrigley is not your 20-year-old stripper girlfriend, it’s your 80-year-old grandmother. Act accordingly.”

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Posted on May 20th, 2007

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