Clemens planning vacation for late May

NEW YORK, NY — As if the Yankees weren’t already bending rules by allowing Roger Clemens to stay home as they team travels, Clemens has now told team owner George Steinbrenner that he will leave for the Bahamas following his first start – most likely May 28 in Toronto.

Clemens believes he deserves a vacation after his first major-league outing this season, but Steinbrenner and some Yankee players are already frustrated with Clemens’ lackadaisical attitude towards pitching for the Bronx Bombers.

Steinbrenner expressed his frustrations in a phone interview with SSNN, saying “I just gave this guy $28 million – pro-rated – and he’s already thinking about his next vacation. He’s not being a team player; I mean, the guy obviously thinks the world revolves around him. The next time I dish out 28 million pro-rated bucks, I’m going to make sure the rich bastard appreciates it!”

Clemens responded to Steinbrenner’s statements, commenting, “Everyone just needs to take it easy. I intend to win every game I start for them, and the way things are going up there they can’t afford to whine about my terms.”

Steinbrenner says he is beginning to worry that other pitchers will get “big heads” and try to mimic Clemens’ “here one day, gone the next” attitude towards the team. In a related story, Andy Petitte hopes to convince Clemens to delay the trip by a day so that he can join his good friend. Carl Pavano is reportedly already in the Bahamas waiting for his teammates.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!