As losses pile up, Yankees make change

NEW YORK, NY — It was going to come sooner or later. Someone would have to take the fall for the New York Yankees sub-par start to the season.

Early Saturday morning, George Steinbrenner announced that the Yanks have come to terms on the release of their injuries.

“The decision to sign injuries to a five-year contract before the 2004 season was made by my Tampa brain trust,” the Yankees owner said. “Now that I have given more control of baseball operations to Brian [Cashman, Yankees general manager], keeping the injuries just didn’t seem to make sense.”

Steinbrenner added that he is already looking for something to replace the injuries. He mentioned both addiction and “some sort of curse” as possibilities, though he made it clear no discussions have begun with either party.

For his part, Cashman told SSNN that while it is clear the team now has a hole to fill, he is not willing to trade away young prospects to do so.

“We have to weigh the short-term and long-term effects of any move,” he said. “Ten years ago, we traded our top two prospects for injuries, and look how that’s worked out for us. Sure, the Yankees and injuries had a great time together, but it’s time for both of us move on.”

In a related story, Carl Pavano has also been released from the team – “Without injuries, Pavano really has no place here,” Cashman said.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!