Mayo changes mind, won’t attend USC

LOS ANGELES, CA — Controversial high school basketball star O.J. Mayo announced at a press conference Sunday that he no longer plans on attending the University of Southern California, and will instead create his own school. “I figured that if I can recruit myself to USC, I can coach myself, teach myself and just run my own school,” Mayo said. “You know what? I’m going on record right now – Mayo University is gonna win the national championship next year.” Mayo said that while he does have some ideas for classes, much of the planning will be done on the fly. “I’ll definitely be teaching Great O.J.’s in History, Why Referees are Punk Bitches 101 and… Well that’s actually all I’ve come up with so far.” Mayo scoffed at reporters who questioned his motives. “Let me borrow a line from the great T.O. – I love me some me. How’s that for a reason?” Mayo ended the press conference by dunking on a group of reporters and tossing the ball into a nearby crowd.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!