Johnson, Okoye, Adams are blazers, not buffoons

NEW YORK, NY — In a Pro Football Weekly article this week, Nolan Nawrocki writes that three projected Top 20 NFL Draft prospects - Calvin Johnson, Amobi Okoye and Gaines Adams - admitted during NFL Scouting Combine interviews that they smoked marijuana during college.

In a more recent interview, the three told SSNN that “we figured we would just come clean about smoking weed, because at least it’s not crack.” All three registered negative drug tests at the combine, which led to questions over why the players chose to maked the admission.

Johnson - who called himself “the resident pharmacologist” - explained his “stay clean routine”: “The ganja leaves your system about 30 days after you blaze, and the faster a person’s metabolism is, the faster the marijuana leaves your system. Since I’m a football player and I’m constantly training to stay in shape, I have a fast metabolism and I can smoke weed about 20 days before the test and be cool.”

Okoye added that “taking a couple of tokes every so often is probably fine. I mean you’ve really gotta smoke that [stuff] all day long for it to show up in the pee test.”

The NFL released an official statement saying they “hope that players throughout the league will take a look at what these three youngsters are saying. We believe many players would benefit from their helpful hints, and perhaps we can lower the rate of positive tests for marijuana.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!